Building What I’ve Never Built

🌅 Morning Whispers with Holy Spirit – Companion, Friend, and Helper

Entry #38 — Building What I’ve Never Built

It was just after 3:15 a.m. when I woke up, the knowing from yesterday still there.

Not loud.
Not exciting.
Just… present.

I lay there for a minute, staring into the dark, my mind already trying to figure out what to do with it.

Whatever this was — it hadn’t come from me. I knew that much. But now that it was here, sitting with me, I felt the weight of it pressing in.

My ribs felt tight, like I was holding something fragile inside.

“Good morning, Holy Spirit,” I said quietly.

I didn’t feel calm. I didn’t feel confident. I felt aware.

“I know this idea is from You,” I said. “But I don’t know how to build it.”

I shifted onto my side, pulling the blanket closer, not for warmth — just something solid to hold onto.

“What if I mess it up?” I asked. “What if I do it wrong?”

There was a pause — not silence. Just space.

You’re not being asked to know how, You said gently. You’re being asked to stay with Me while you learn.

That landed somewhere deep in my chest.

“I keep looking for instructions,” I admitted. “Some kind of outline. Steps. Something.”

You already have the reassurance, You replied. You just don’t have the instructions yet.

I exhaled slowly. My shoulders dropped a fraction, like a muscle releasing after being clenched too long.

“So… we’re really doing this together,” I said. Not asking. Realizing.

Yes, You said. That’s what makes it partnership.

The word partnership felt different now. Heavier. Truer.

“With Someone who already knows how,” I added quietly.

With Someone who has, You finished.

That scared me less than it should have.

“I don’t know how much I can carry,” I said.

You don’t have to carry the whole thing today, You said. Just the next faithful piece.

I stayed there for a while after that. Not planning. Not solving. Just breathing.

The idea was still there.
The uncertainty too.

But it didn’t feel like pressure anymore.
It felt shared.

I wasn’t being asked to build the whole thing.
Just to stay close while it took shape.

And that, somehow, felt possible.